How I feel being a vulnerable or victim!

Sometimes, the world surrounding us is beautiful, but also horrible in some cases. The 5 precepts of the Buddha, if people really at least use them a bit in practice, there might not be so much crime, steal, jealousy, anger… But people think mostly of themselves but not others. Crime, stealing, emotional, and physical violat are happening everywhere around the world. Only just some people are bad luck and they unfortunately met those horrible things.

I never want to hurt any body, but bad luck still happen to me. I unfortunately have met the robber last night  (9:20PM, Tue, Aug, 2015) On my way home. It was only just about 500 meters to reach my home. I was being violated by 2 guys who drove their motorbike so fast on my right side and drag my bag. They could have killed me, I could have been very serious injured if my bag’s strap was strong and they did not break it. But, the strap has broken by their force of dragging from me.

Do you know how I feel? Do you know, how those vulnerable people feel? —Only those who experience that would understand how it feels. I am sure, there are many more people that experiences worse than me.

I biked home with my shaking body, scarred, and shocked. I did not have keys to come home. Luckily, Pisith, one of the flatmate did not sleep yet. So, I could entering to the house.  

I could not help myself from not feeling shock and scared. My left toe had little injure and my right hand was hurt from their hand force. I could not sleep at night. All  I could see was the image of the 2 guys using their force on their motorbike to drag my bag. All I could see was”Seeing myself shaking and tried to bike home!”, I woke up many times, I did not feel secure, I did not know what to say “What is going on inside me?”, I did not feel like eating, or hungry, I hope, time will helps me to heal this horrible moment. When I bike to sort out about my bank. I felt not secure on the road, I felt scared even the motorbike drove close to me.

Not only that, the security guard at the bank did not want me to keep the bike, and did not really smile at me. I am also one of their customers. Do you know why? Because I ride a bike to the bank, I don’t have a car or fancy motorbike. Sometimes, people judge us by how we look and material world, but not who we are. It is painful. But that is okay. I just hope this month of my bad luck will be over soon. It is okay, I still believe those lessons will make me become a stronger person and that I can learn from those lessons.

Lesson learned, and I hope it somehow useful for women. They target mostly women. All I have heard so far, only women who were the victims.

-You have to be alert all the time, and you have to know if someone is watching you.

-The way you keep your bag, the more you show, the more you becoming their prey.

-Try to carry as less as stuff you could.

-The way you dress and the way you look could attract them as well.

-Try to be somewhere with more people around.

I blame myself that I lost some important things. The most is the memory I have in the phone and my International student ID (my memories from my Czech school). I don’t care about the money I lost, but I wish, I could not have lost those. I blame myself even I am one of the victims? I blame myself because I am not careful enough? Should I blame them because they are thief? Or should I blame this society, because it is not a secure place for their people?

I honestly have no answer to this. All I want is seeing people be safe and no crime or violate, especially on women. I already know that the world is not fair, and it will never be fair. I have to just learn how to adapt and go with the flow. I hope the thief uses my money wisely. But you never know, Karma does exist. It might happen to you in some other way round. Just be careful yourself.


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